Snakekit always had potential. He was a "momma's boy"-- or, in the case of his family, a "daddy's boy." Tigerstripe heavily favored him and his brother, and thus Snakekit received a good education from the start. Tigerstripe pushed him to do his best, and from the very beginning Snakekit learned to obey his father. His sister and mother were another story, but he was too busy worrying about himself and his future to be concerned about them. Obey his father, and everything would go well. That seemed to be the motto of the family.

So he listened. He allowed Tigerstripe to micromanage him, because it was better than fighting back, which he could already tell would cause a lot of problems. Tigerstripe loved him-- that was what Snakepaw liked. He could see the pride shining in his father's eyes as he improved more and more, and Snakepaw wanted to keep that proud look in the older tom. So he continued to train hard, to pour every ounce of his energy into becoming the best warrior he could. He became an able member of the Clan who had good friends and, overall, an okay relationship with his family. He was proactive, always on his paws and ready to work more. Ready to work more because it was what Tigerstripe wanted and what Tigerstripe wanted Snakepaw wanted. It was a fragile relationship, but he wasn't the one being abused.

Willowpaw was. Snakepaw felt terribly sorry for his sister, and would spend nights awake and unable to sleep, disturbed by the hurtful treatment she was receiving from the cat whom he saw as his role model. He would try to think of what to say to her to offer her some comfort, partly because he genuinely cared about her, and partly because he felt guilty he wasn't doing anything about it. All of his speeches sounded awkward in his head, though, privileged and forced, and thus he ultimately kept quiet. He didn't want to be the one to break up the family, either, over something that would probably boil over soon. The siblings were to become warriors, and as adults they'd be able to break free of their father's grasping claws.

The other thing was was that she was doing much better than Snakepaw himself and his brother Lightningpaw. That almost made him laugh, and he trained harder to compete against her only for Tigerstripe's sake, to show him that Snakepaw himself had some desire in him to beat the she-cats, just like Tigerstripe. But deep down he was glad to give Willowpaw first place. At least he could feel a little better-- his sister was faring well for herself, fighting against the abuse, and didn't need another cat in her way. He wouldn't have to say anything. She was doing fine.

Instead he closed himself off and decided just to train to be a warrior, and get it over with. His favorite hobby was hunting-- he loved time to himself, and spent his free hours in the woods alone, stalking prey and pretending to be a stealthy warrior ambushing an enemy. His mentor was impressed by his rapid development in his tracking and hunting abilities. But Snakepaw didn't like fighting-- he'd seen enough of it verbally, between Tigerstripe and Willowpaw, and it had burned some of the fun out of it. Each time he imagined striking an enemy he would see his father's face, or his sister's, and it made him uncomfortable. Part of his loved Tigerstripe because Tigerstripe loved him. They all had their own problems, anyway, and Tigerstripe's just happened to be a bit excessive. Willowpaw hadn't done anything wrong, and he couldn't imagine hurting her.

He knew what was coming when she moved out of the apprentices' den first. Tigerstripe yelled at him and Lightningpaw for not becoming warriors before Willowpaw, who was now Willowstripe (ironically, named after her father). But Snakepaw had long learned to bite his cheek and just take the scolding (which was not far from the abuse that Willowstripe had received) and just nodded, promising his father to work harder. That seemed to satisfy Tigerstripe, and the two reached some kind of truce that Snakepaw would be free of the moment he received his name-- or so he thought.

His assessment came, and Snakepaw passed easily, earning the name Snakepad for his hunting, tracking, and stealth skills. But no, Tigerstripe insisted he still train hard, to improve his "terrible" fighting abilities-- which, in reality, weren't bad at all, but to Tigerstripe still were not enough. This was the one thing Snakepad fought against. He was already a talented hunter-- one of the best, if he could say so himself-- and he didn't want to do any more. And so the first empty promises were made, and though Snakepad hated lying he immediately felt lighter. Happier. He was free now, kind of, and this silent rebellion against Tigerstripe felt good. Like he was truly becoming independent. He didn't have to be the best at everything, damn it. And his father could no longer hover over him all the time, so Snakepad only pretended to train for a bit and then left for the forest again. There seemed to be a spring in his step, some kind of energy that had been manifesting but now took over. It was his own aura, his soul, liberated from the dark pulls of his father.

When Heatherstar ascended to the throne, Snakepad merely nodded. Another new leader to obey. But this time, Snakepad had agreed to obey her. By himself. It was his own will that he'd fighting under Heatherstar. Not because of what Tigerstripe wanted. It was what he wanted! He'd trained and lived alongside the ginger she-cat for basically her entire life. And he respected Heatherstar, so he held his head high, congratulated her, and worked harder than ever as an independent warrior to support the Clan with as much prey as possible. He was a good hunter, and that was what his asset would be for the Clan. Okay. Settled. Snakepad was an adult who could make his own decisions.

Then he became a senior warrior, and he still wasn't good at fighting. Thirty moons, and all he'd done was be a part of a border skirmish that had resulting in him clawing some apprentice's face once (how horrible he felt as he saw the blood dripping from the young tom's eyes, and had withered immediately), and even the apprentice had managed to land a blow on his flank. Tigerstripe had looked disappointed and angry that day, and Snakepad immediately fell back into his grasp, feeling an overwhelming amount of guilt and shame for failing his father. His father, who had worked so hard for him to succeed. His father, who had been so proud of him every step along the way. His father, who loved him.

And so Snakepad forgot about rebelling against Tigerstripe. He forgot that feeling of happiness that came with making his own decisions, waking up by his own time, and the happiness turned into sadness anyway because his father wasn't happy. He didn't want to be himself anymore, if that was what Tigerstripe didn't want. His entire life was to satisfy the older tom, and he couldn't fail now. He could be himself... later. Maybe in another life. Perhaps when Tigerstripe died... no. That would be a cruel thought.

But doing what Tigerstripe wanted him to do didn't make him any more joyful. Instead he was quietly miserable, the light feeling of depression within him, but he stowed it away and pulled on a smile, which became genuine each time Tigerstripe grunted a remark of approval. He became addicted to Tigerstripe's compliments, and everything Snakepad did was because of his father again. Willowstripe certainly wasn't doing anything, and Lightningheart... Lightningheart seemed to have his own agenda going on. Snakepad didn't want to see Tigerstripe depressed because of what his children had become, despite his exertion for their success. So he held his head down and began to train to fight. At least, like this, one of them would be truly satisfied.